MyFursona.com

Aug 20, 2008 6:02am

All of the characters that I've made in the recent years have been quite ... dark. They almost *never* start out that way, but whether it be the ST's storyline goes or the way my personal style if flowing lately it always turn dark. Skip to the end for the very short version XD

First there is Carra Anderson (not to be confused with the dragonwolf Carra...), a Thyrsus mage. Thyrsus being mages using life and spirit magic. Overall I was going for an earthy- druid-shape changer type of feel for her. Which would have worked I think. But slowly I got into taking the death arcanum, not as a primary, but it was a common one so it was cheap enough and easy enough to buy--I wanted a character who would balance life and death. From a twist in the storyline that became a primary arcanum making it very cheap and very accessible. The group got ahold of a few spheres with some rotes in them (rotes being like a learned cheaper version of a spell, so it doesn't tax the user as much and it gives a bigger dice pool). None of which Carra could really use effectively becase there were only a couple of life, but the majority were death rotes. Death slowly became the favoured arcanum, not only because of the cheapness of the spell, but because they are quick and effective. Causing pain and suffering with the death arcanum is a really good way to drop in wisdom (think of it as a mage's morality meter) really quickly. It's really starting to get to me just how dark Carra's become. Today she dropped again in wisdom. She's at 2 (out of 10). If she drops to 0 she becomes an NPC sort of monster, an obstacle for the other PCs to kill or lock up for eternity. She's starting to become hard to play in a group setting with the goals our group has. I don't want to become the next Ruckle of the group (Ruckle was played by a player who had too many dungeon crawls... he shot everything we came across without any sort of RP finess or motivation other than 'it's new and it moved'.) Though I can play her subtly away from this, and be sure, I am! If she's degenerating that much she would *have* to be this dark or sudden eventually. She has RP finess still (because otherwise what's the point?) but at wisdom 2... cold blooded murder isn't a big deal anymore. I can't play her too much otherwise without tainting not only the system but also the decline of the character over months, nay, years of growth. (I'm really against meta-gaming and steering the character in a different direction suddenly just because of player's morals). I love the direction she's taking. She's been very dynamic and the changes have all been one step after another. I can't just erase all of that and make it as though some of these things never happened. But I can't let her keep sinking. I'm trying to work out with our ST some one on one RP time between Carra and a couple of NPCs that she's become attatched to (Rykinnnon, the demon that's become her best friend and Eden, her mentor). It's my hopes that this starts her on the ascention rather than furthering the decent. But if this doesn't work.... I may have to start a new character. Because if it doesn't work there is no in game reason to have her stick around. Not at the risk of hurting her friends. If she is going to become a monster she does not want any of her friends to come to harm because of it, or perhaps a part of her is too prideful to let them see her fall that far.

I don't really want a new character either... I hate making new characters XD

Secondly there is Awen of the Changeling game we're taking a hiatus from. She was created in responce to the darkness that was Carra. She's older, but much more youthful and naive. A theif and a magpie to boot XD She loves shinies and is genreally a positive girl. She loved her experience in Arcadia because she doesn't remember anything of her mortal birth or when she was captured (at about the age of 4-5). I was loving having her explore this strange new world that is the mortal realm rather than Fairy. But... then it took a turn for the worse. She started to dislike the new world and long for her home. Mainly because of vampires friend and enemies alike using their nightmare and fear inducing powers on her, giving her a bad taste in her mouth from the first few days of it. This slowly grew into a desperate longing to return home. Which turned into lying to her motley and probably endangering them as well. Sneaking to talk to her old keeper as much as she could, still working for his agendas--though he didn't want to recapture them as the rest of the Fae did, so it was okay. Until the ST killed the Doctor and drove Awen off of the deep end. The Doctor isn't really 'dead' but anything that Awen had liked and admired has been stripped from him leaving only a sort of sado-masicistic insanity. Which... drove her even more dark. She's not entirely lost her child-like awe and wonder, and she's still gleefully obessed with shinies. But there is a much darker taint to her than what I'd originally intended.

My two most major characters in the past while, and both have turned a lot darker than what I wanted. These two are quite close to my heart and I really get into them when I'm playing the game (more so than I have for characters in a long time). The beast in them is slowly rising to the surface, in Carra it's sort of an insane disregard for life, and even a struggling maddness and will to chaos, in Awen it's a bitter jaded feeling of being lost and alone, not trusting and not befreinding, just being alone and bitter.

So what the hell do you think that says about me? XD